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SHEBOYGAN - What was thought to be a private conversation, turned out to be anything but for Sheboygan's mayor Bob Ryan recently.
 
Now he's apologizing, and the people he serves are shaking their heads.
 
It all started with some bar room banter that took an ugly turn.
 
Ryan was caught on tape describing his sister-in-law in a sexual way.
 
"She has red hair, she's a little meaty around the edges but I hear she gives a hell of a [expletive]", he told some guys in a bar recently.
 
The video found its way on YouTube, raising questions about Ryan and his judgment.
 
He apologized Thursday with his wife standing by his side.
 
"I can never take this back or make it go away, but all I can do is sincerely apologize to my sister in law and her family," said Ryan.
 
Although his wife Mary stood by Ryan at the Thursday news conference, she would not defend her husband's actions, describing it as a stupid mistake.
 
But she did have a surprising message for the person who posted the video, thanking them for giving her husband a wakeup call.
 
"As strange as it sounds I want to thank that person, and tell them they will not have another possibility," said Mary Ryan.
 
"I believe he finally understands that the job of mayor doesn't end when the work day ends and I'm confident that he understands that he will be a proper role model as long as he holds his office."
 
Despite that assurance, not all the people the mayor represents buy it.
 
"It's sad. It's very disgusting. He's a public official. It's just inappropriate," said Sheboygan resident, Emily Wieberdink.

Others told TODAYS TMJ4, they think the mayor was set up. "I think he's human and people are trying to find all the flaws and throw him under the bus," said Melissa Gritt.

She was one of the women at a local hair salon who spent Thursday night talking about the now infamous video.

Tiffany Stauber says the mayor showed "bad judgment."  She also says if she were the mayor's wife, she'd be furious. "I just feel bad for his family."