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How to talk with your honey about managing your money

CREATED May. 25, 2012

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Financial experts are offering up a word of caution on what to look for if you have a tough time talking money with your honey. Paige Buck and her husband are happily married homeowners. But when it comes to discussing bills and budgets Paige explains, "Everything would result in arguments or frustration or tears."

 

The couple needed help expressing their financial feelings, so they saw a financial therapist.

"We weren't happy with the way we talked about money, or the decisions we were making," Paige adds.

Financial therapy, also known as money coaching, is gaining popularity with couples, and even singles. Saundra Davis with the Financial Therapy Association says it's the basic understanding that feelings and finance go hand-in-hand.

"Financial therapy is the place where money and our personalities connect, when there's a difference between what we know and what we do," Davis explains.

Money coach Olivia Mellan says a good financial therapist will identify and treat the emotional blocks that prevent you from putting a financial plan into action. "Overspending, money avoidance, money worrying, excessive hoarding and saving, inability to communicate about money."

For Paige, communication was key. She and her husband realized they felt guilt over spending.

"my husband and I would look at eachother and be like, 'I didn't know you felt that way!'"

There are no certifications to become a financial therapist, so it's important to do your homework.

"The term financial therapist is not a clearly defined term. It is an emerging field. So what we have is a collaboration of financial planners, therapists, coaches, and other professionals who work together," Davis says.

The Financial Therapy Association can be a valuable resource.

"Make sure that you're comfortable with the professional that you're working with," Davis warns.

After seeing Davis, Paige feels financially, and emotionally, healthy. "We're saving for short term and long-term goals that we had never even faced or even had the courage to look at before."

Whichever financial therapist you choose, make sure they're credentialed in their profession.