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Vince Vitrano: Not For Broadcast

CHRISTMAS JOY REVIEW

GLAD TO BE BACK AT WORK

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Nothing like getting back to work after a week and a half off... I need to relax.

We survived another holiday season with three children. Young Max had a double ear infection that reduced him to a puddle for several days right around Christmas. I had a touch of bronchitis with a sinus infection... so we were in good health at the household!

All worth it for the following gems that will live in my Christmas memory for ever, both involving our oldest, Ella.

The 4 year old selected a card for her mom this year that was highly inappropriate. I've got three kids at Target and it was nearing the end... they were fighting, hungry, and done. Ella picks up this card with a slimy dude in a leisure suit. He's sitting with his legs apart, and the caption proclaims, "I've got your Merry Christmas right here!"

ELLA: This one.

DAD: No Ella, that's not a nice card for mom.

ELLA: It plays music.

DAD: That's great. Not appropriate for you to give to your mother.

ELLA: It plays music.

DAD: Pick another one that plays music.

ELLA: I want this one.

(twins fighting and whining in stroller)

DAD: Ella, just pick another one. The twins are going nuts. We've gotta get home to eat lunch, and get them down for naps.

ELLA: This one.

DAD: Okay... fine.

Yes, the card plays music. The song reminds me of a Pat McCurdy tune. Here are the lyrics that even the 2 year old twins were singing:

Pretend I'm Santa, and sit on my lap. Tell me what you want for Christmas... I'll make a list, and check it twice... You've been so naughty and that's so nice... Pretend I'm Santa, and sit on my lap... ho, ho, ho.

Classy. Merry Christmas.

Tomorrow's blog... Ella expresses shock that Santa actually came for her.

emails: vvitrano@todaystmj4.com

follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/VinceVitrano

 

 

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