PLACE YOUR BETS... PLACE YOUR BETS
POLITICIANS' LAME TRADITION
Mayors, Governors, even Senators are placing their bets on Sunday's Packer game... and they're as lame as they always are.
The news releases are pouring in. Senator Herb Kohl, Governor Jim Doyle, and Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt all have wagers on the NFC title match. I'm not even going to complain that these guys ought to have better stuff to do. They're just making bad bets.
They all start the same... with silly joint statements from each elected official boasting about his team. Then they go on to detail the wager.
Governor Doyle seems to have gotten a decent deal. He's offered up Wisconsin Brats while his counterparts in New York and New Jersey have wagered pastrami and Jersey Fresh tomatoes. Okay... fine.
Our Senator, and Green Bay's mayor have made wagers far less wise. Senator Kohl wagered Wisconsin cheese against... hmm... New York cheesecake.
The Mayor of Green Bay made the same silly bet. He's putting up the usuals... a bunch of cheese and stuff. Mayor Bloomberg of New York has also bet cheesecake, oh, and beer.
Great! Cheesecake? Beer?
Those are a couple things of which we have a limitless supply. Why don't you send us something we can't get here? Not to mention... I don't want your crummy dairy products nor your beer. We're the Dairy State for the love of Bucky! I don't need New York sending over cheese-based items.
I'll get my cheesecake at Suzy's, thank you. (Full disclosure: I worked at Suzy's when I was a kid) As for beer... are you kidding? If we're not the Dairy State... we're the Beer State.
Thanks for nothing, you guys.
Can our people turn down those bets? Can't we just say, "Not good enough, Mr. Mayor." How about putting up something we'd actually want. Maybe some Broadway tickets or something. Some "I heart NY" gear. How about that lady statue in the harbor.
I mean, seriously, make a bet you're actually afraid to lose New York! Because I tell you what, if we're betting our finest cheese and beer... we don't want to have to pay out.