I WOULD LIKE MATT DAMON TO BE MY FRIEND
YOU KNOW... JUST LIKE... MY FRIEND
Matt Damon just won People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" title. While I'm not real interested in all that, he's tops on my list for, you know, like... guy friend.
Sometimes dudes get a little uncomfortable talking about other dudes. I'm not ashamed to tell you I have a man-crush on Matt Damon. He's probably one of my favorite actors, and just looks like a cool guy.
I get made fun of all the time by my wife, and the ladies here at work because I said I'd like Matt to be my friend. You know... that guy I play golf with and go to ballgames with and stuff.
I already have that friend in real life... his name is Bradley Murawski. As that person, he would tell you that since the twins were born... I don't play golf, go to ballgames, or really do any of those things anymore. That's true. Sorry my friend. Seriously, I'm sorry.
He'd probably also tell you Matt Damon would expect more from the friendship that coming over to my house, holding my kids, and having a few beers after they finally all to go sleep. Again, true, and again, sorry Brad.
Nonetheless... congratulations Matt Damon. If you're ever in Milwaukee, you know, like totally shooting one of your super cool movies and you just need to hang out with somebody... give me a call.
Gentlemen... I'm asking you know... step up, be brave, and email me your man-crushes. It's okay.