TV MAN DECLARES BEST BROWNIE EVER
MAMMA'S BOY LIKES MAMMA'S BROWNIE
With no warning, local television news anchor Vince Vitrano boldly stated he was consuming the single best brownie of all time Wednesday.
"This is the single best brownie of all time," said Vitrano. He offered the bold statement upon the first bite in his second brownie of the morning.
"I'm serious," Vitrano continued. "You guys know I like brownies, and this is seriously the best brownie I've ever had."
Vitrano made the announcement in the newsroom to no one in particular. It came just after 9:00 AM. He is seen at left, proudly displaying the item in question.
According to Vitrano, who is widely known as a lover of baked goods, the brownie came from a batch freshly baked over the weekend by his mother. It's unclear to friends and colleagues how Vitrano could identify that particular brownie as best ever, considering he may have consumed well over 100,000 brownies in his lifetime.
"I mean every day I look over there and the guy is eating a cookie, or a piece of cake, or something like that," said Producer Gary Reistad who sits directly across from Vitrano. "I think it would be very difficult, given the quantity of baked goods that man eats, for him to narrow things down to a particular item."
Asked for his thoughts on the announcement, director Dwight Cannon said, "I didn't even hear him. Was he talking to me?"
Reached at her home for comment, Vitrano's mother, Christine Schimenz could not shed any light on why her son liked these brownies that much. "I did make them from scratch," Schimenz offered. "But it's the same Betty Crocker recipe I've used for all of Vincent's 33 years of life."
Vitrano's hyperbole may be part of a disturbing trend, as he identified a red devil's food cake around the Christmas holiday as, "possibly the best cake I've eaten, ever." That cake also came from the oven of Ms. Schimenz.
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