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Vince Vitrano: Not For Broadcast



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And the Oscar goes to... dude in an ape costume at Japanese Zoo.

You must link to this video in case you missed the performance on Live at Daybreak today. A Zoo in Japan wants to train staff in the event of an emergency. So far... good idea. The training day scenario: an ape has escaped and is terrorizing Zoo patrons. He must be stopped! So far, standard procedure.

So the Zoo hires an actor to don a furry primate costume and carry out the role of escaped, crazed ape. The costume looks like a high school mascot outfit. Actually, I've seen better mascots.

Funnier still, when the zoo staff finally surrounds the "ape" and "shoots" him with a tranquilizer it's a death scene fit for Shakespearean drama. The ape/actor stumbles about, clutching his wound. He swoons, and even places a hand over his head... finally collapsing to the dismay of shocked onlookers.

The only thing missing was a few convulsions following the collapse. You know... the rapid leg twitch, maybe a hunched back... and then expiration. I'll included that in my notes to him.

This scene caused me to recall my sister's debut in Wauwatosa Children's Theater when she was a kid. She gets the part of a sheep in Heidi. Determined to show her abilities as a thespian, she baa'd and baa'd louder than any sheep in the Alps. She baa'd over dialog, and baa'd until Mrs. Weber, the Theater director, literally herded her off the stage.

My sister is now working as an actor in New York City, and I bet she would have killed for the chance to play that escaped Zoo ape. I know she would have been great.

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