TSA CONFUSED WHEN "PAT" GOES THROUGH SECURITY
SNL SKETCH FOR THIS WEEK?
I need to hear Pat say, "Don't touch my junk."
I don't know what Julia Sweeney is up to these days, but Saturday Night Live needs to have her back for one sketch. With all the hype involving the "enhanced pat downs" at airports, I demand a return of Pat!
TSA AGENT: Mis.... ster... err... um... whatever... um.... we need to have you step over here for a pat-down.
PAT: Of course you do.
TSA AGENT: Of course I do? What do you mean.
PAT: Well, my name is Pat... so of course I need a Pat down (laughs in that strange way while touching self)
TSA AGENT: Well... okay Pat. You have the right to have a same sex agent to perform the enhanced procedure.
TSA AGENT: So... would you like... um... Agent Tim Johnson? Or... perhaps you would you be more comfortable with Agent... Mary Smith?
PAT: Why would you ask me that? Don't you just assign someone?
TSA AGENT: Generally speaking.
PAT: I don't want any special treatment... just give me whoever.
TSA: We'd really be more comfortable if you would choose the agent...
PAT: Well fine... what about that agent?
TSA: Who? That one? You mean Terry?
PAT: Yeah... I'll take Terry. But Terry better not "touch my junk."
Well Lorne Michaels, I'm waiting for your call.