Julian Tavarez was barely a Brewer...but this story just might put him in the Brewers classic Hall of Fame, right up there with Steve Sparks dislocating his shoulder tearing up a phone book, or Alex Sanchez getting thrown into a clubhouse wall.
I'm already calling it...they need to have a Julian Tavarez Beer Goggle night in Washington after this one....
The Nats Are Tavarez’s Drunk Hook-Up
By Chris Mottram | March 16, 2009
At 4AM, after a long night of drinking, the alcohol starts to combine with desperation and everyone instantly becomes really, really sexy. (Especially yourself.) This mirage is a fact of life that we all accept as truth, but not one that I’ve ever heard related to signing with a baseball team.
Until now. Here is Julian Tavarez with the metaphor to end all metaphors after agreeing to a minor league deal with the Nats:
“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez said told a group of reporters. “When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.”
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