My mother worked for years with a social services group in Montreal, helping to care for  psychiatric patients.

I remember her describing some of the tendencies of the young men and women she encountered in the psychiatric ward.  She knew them so well, she used to say,  that she could just look into their eyes and tell whether or not they had taken their meds. 

And I remember her saying how badly some of those patients needed their meds.

This past weekend I watched some clips from an interview with Jessica Baty, the girl who dated Steven Kazmierczak, the gunman who killed five people and then himself at Northern Illinois University.  

Jessica is in shock.  She said Kazmierczak had been seeing a pshychiatrist.  And she said he was taking an anti-depressant but had stopped taking his meds because they made him "feel like a zombie."

She said there was "no indication that Steven was planning anything".   She said he wasn't "erratic", wasn't "delusional". 

She said he was normal. 

Well here's the thing --- I would argue that you can't really ever know who is "normal" out there. 

Maybe it's my reporter's paranoia.  Maybe it was years of  listening to my mother describe the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde tendencies of some people with psychological deficiencies.  Or maybe it's just knowing that anti-depressants are the top selling prescription drug in the United States.

But in my opinion, "normal" is a relative term.

There are so many people out there who function among us and seem perfectly "normal".  But those same people need medication to even out their behaviour.  They need pills to wipe out paranoia.  Pills to quell panic.  Pills to make them happy.  Then pills to help them sleep. 

I'm not judging these folks --- we all have our demons, and some people need a little extra help to deal.  But I do believe that it is the responsibility of loved ones and medical professionals to keep a close eye on people with erratic tendencies.  They are the ones who need to make sure loved ones stay on their meds, or make their counselling appointments...

And they need to notify the proper authorities when things seem to be a little "off".

Know your loved ones who need that extra help. Develop the ability to look in their eyes and see when something's wrong.  Help them fix whatever's brewing before they explode and hurt themselves, or others.

Jessica Baty said she loved Steven Kazmierczak.  I'm sure she did. 

But five innocent young people might be alive today, if only she had loved him a little more.